40. Antonio Núñez (Liverpool, part-exchange in 2004)
Nunez for Owen: Fair deal?
Arriving as part of the deal which saw Michael Owen make his exit for Real Madrid in Rafa Benítez’s first summer at Anfield, Antonio Núñez was a relative unknown to Liverpool fans back in 2004. Now, of course, he is just as little-known, having lasted just one year before returning to Spain to help Celta Vigo get relegated. Núñez picked up an injury during his first training session with Liverpool which kept out of action for three months, and although he did score his only goal for the club in the League Cup final, the Spaniard was the most anonymous of a clutch of poor imports signed by Liverpool’s now-departed manager. Josemi, Jan Kromkamp and Maurizio Pellegrini might all have caught the eye for being out of their depth, but Núñez takes the prize for being the most invisible.
39. Glenn Helder (Arsenal, £1m in 1995)
George Graham signed this Dutch winger about a week before being sacked by the club for financial impropriety, but wasting a million on Helder isn’t thought to have been chief among the reasons for his dismissal. Helder played under Stewart Houston and Bruce Rioch, but when Arséne Wenger arrived at the club he was shipped out to Benfica on loan. Upon returning, and discovering that he had been usurped by countryman Marc Overmars, he departed for his homeland where he has suffered from psychiatric problems and served jail time for assaulting an ex-girlfriend. Nowadays he’s a professional gambler. You can see him playing poker on Five sometimes. True story.
Allback: Good in Holland, crap here
38. Marcus Allbäck (Aston Villa, £2m in 2002)
If Premier League managers can learn anything from mistakes of the past, it’s that one should be very careful when signing strikers on the back of an impressive Eredivisie record. Mateja Kezman, Afonso Alves and Dirk Kuyt all joined Premier League sides after tearing up defences in Holland’s top division, but all of them struggled to reproduce that goalscoring form for their English employers (although to be fair to Kuyt, he’s done pretty well playing out wide for Liverpool since it became clear he wasn’t going to cut it as a goalscorer). Allbäck is another name to add to the list, the cumbersome Swede joining on the back of a productive two seasons for Heerenveen. He scored six goals in two seasons as Graham Taylor’s return to Villa Park turned sour, Premier League football passing the striker by. He departed on a free transfer after two seasons.
37. Tahar El Khalej (Southampton, £350,000 in 2000)
Ah, the glory days of early noughties Premier League football. David Beckham was at his peak, Arsenal and Manchester United were almighty equals, and the likes of Wimbledon, Coventry City and Southampton were ever-presents in the division. Nowadays, of course, Becks is enfeebled in Los Angeles, Wimbledon no longer exist and Arsenal against United is like watching your dad get beaten up. Things change. Back in 2000, ex-England coach Glenn Hoddle was still rebuilding his reputation after branding disabled people as reincarnated evil (trademarked by the Daily Mail), and that summer he spent £350,000 of Southampton’s money on Moroccan international Tahar El Khalej. The versatile defender’s début was mixed at best, marked as it was by a goal and a 7-2 defeat, but Tahar remained a regular in Southampton’s side for three years before departing for Charlton, where he ended his career after a handful of appearances. Both clubs are now in League One. Coincidence? Yes.
36. Esteban Fuertes (Derby County, £2.3m in 1999)
Jim Smith’s Derby County were on the look-out for a striker to replace West Ham-bound Paulo Wanchope when they took a chance on Argentine Esteban Fuertes in 1999. After wrangling over who actually owned the player (a portion of the transfer fee was, curiously, paid to the Argentine Football Association), the burly forward joined from the unfortunately named Colón, where he had netted 25 goals in two seasons. Derby’s season started poorly but a win over Sheffield Wednesday on Fuertes’ début, followed by his winning goal against Everton, suggested a bright partnership between player and club might follow. Unfortunately for Smith, Fuertes arrived with baggage he couldn’t possibly have legislated for. First of all the fiery target man lashed out at David Wetherall in a game against Bradford City, earning a red card and a three-game ban, but worse was to follow. After arriving at Heathrow airport after attending a training camp with his team-mates in Portugal, Fuertes’ Italian passport, which had allowed Derby to circumvent a work permit struggle in the first place, was exposed as a forgery. Unable to work in Britain, Fuertes was swiftly returned to Colón on loan, and Derby, incredibly, got their money back when French side Lens swooped the following summer.
Esteban Fuertes: Not Italian at all
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